KARMMAJAM

Dear friends,
Hope this short filim will disclose the reason for my long silence...
A humble attempt by my friend Jyotsna & myself.....




 

My Melted shadow

   

Strolling on the meadow,

Searching for your shadow,

Darkness spreads to swallow,

Piercing pain that follow.

 

A darkened cloud spreads,

Hiding the lighted thread,

Shadows weep as they shred,

Without a ray, it’s their death.

 

Shadows die in darkness,

Leaving us in blindness,

Heartbeats fading to numbness,

A light, never to reach us.

 

Moments of lonely Despair,

Vanishes blindly to thin air,

Dreaded Distance disappears,

Dear, if your shadow appears.

 

A rising face, lighting the soul,

The lighted soul filling whole,

Lighting life for shadows to roll,

Shadows now, life’s only goal.

 

In that moment’s moment,

While our hearts were silent,

A gushing spark within, I felt

It’s your shadow...

with my heartbeats present.

 

A silent breeze melted me to her shadow,

Knotted soul, we are on the meadow,

Twining to unite, in blanketed moonlight,

Flooding delight in this lovely night…

An Eternal Bestow

Friends, I was away from the blogosphere for quite some time, thoughts were never near to this world, I was away in a new world, but some instances, some words, some books, some poems force themselves into our mind, leaving a trace of disturbance that we cannot avoid even if we try to, such was a poem written by famous poet of Kerala- Balachandran chullikad, that a friend shared with me which is audible in her profile too(http://www.blogger.com/profile/15111909326424835285), though this post is in no way directly related to the poem, a few lines did inspire me,which led to this post of mine…



Thanks dear Joe for your beautiful poem selection….

An Eternal Bestow

 

 

 

Oh! My beloved!

Give me your thoughts

Let me breathe my mind into it,

Shaping them to worthy words.

Oh! My beloved!

Give me your voice

Let me breathe my song into it,

Blending music to your silent world.

Oh! My beloved!

Give me your heartbeats,

Let me breathe my breath into it,

Adding rhythm to your life’s symphony

Oh! My beloved!

Give me your mind,

Let me breathe my life into it,

Holding it like a feeding infant.

Oh! My beloved!

Give me your tears,

Let me breathe my soothing smile into it,

Never to let you shed a drop.

Oh! My beloved!

Give me your dreams,

Let me breathe my thoughts into it,

Churning it as real as this moment

Oh! My beloved!

Give me your body,

Let me breathe my soul into it,

Gleaming it with my worship.

Oh! My beloved!

Give me you, as yourself

For the beloved almighty

Gave love…to love you

As you….

Forlorn Love

I happened to read an article about an author J.D.Salinjer from a co-bloggers post (N.B.Suresh’s Kilithooval - http://kilithooval.blogspot.com/2010/05/blog-post.html). As it’s in Malayalam, I’m trying to concise it in minimum words just for you to be able to understand the background of my post.


Jerome David Salinger, born in Manhattan , newyork on a new year day of1919, was very much interested in acting dramas, but his father’s opposition to become an actor led him to start writing short stories, undercover, during nights using a flashlight. Later in 1939 he even attended a writing class .During his college days at newyork university he used to write long daily letters to his first love- Oona O’neill, daughter of famous writer & Nobel prize winner Eugine O'neill, but she left salinger and married Charlie chaplin who was very much older to her, causing salinger to discontinue his studies and lead a strange life what we see till his end. His participation in 2nd world war made himself being admitted in a mental asylum after which he married a doctor, Silvia Welter who too left him in a short period. He started his writing career with short stories, that too very few, The first novel that he wrote THE CATCHER IN THE RYE,(known to be a manifesto for rebellious youth, chapman the assassin of famous musician john lenon had this book in his pocket while doing the crime, john hink who made an attempt to kill president regan too had a copy of this book in his room)This book which is still selling 2.5 lakh copies a year, was an instant success during the year 1951,the surprise is after the huge success of the book , he chose to stay away from limelight but stayed in limelight for the same reason. Hiding from the world he led a life of solitude during which he married 19 year old Claire Douglas in 1955 who lived with him till 1967,in 1972 Joyce Edinad an 18 year old who was already a celebrity after publishing "An eighteen year old looks back on life", started living with 53 yr old salinjer and left him after 10 months, both later claimed that salinjer led a saintly life and was in a private world of yoga & meditation inspired from Zen Buddhism & Hinduism, Joyce even went further declaring she was still a virgin when she left him and the relation broke when she requested for a child, later in a book “At home in the world”- her memories she says that Salinger wrote daily but they were never shown to anyone but kept safe within his room. It was in 1980 he married Colleen O’Neill after which he was literally living within the cocoon of solitude till he left us at the age of 91 on January 27th 2010.

In a rare interview of 1974 Salinger says: There is a marvelous peace in not publishing….I like to write…I love to write….but I write just for myself and my own pleasure…

Why he decided to love solitude, and why he dint want others to read his writings, or rather what was he writing all these years, all is still a mystery and something the world is anxiously waiting to know.

After knowing about salinger, my mind too started wandering, to reason out his chosen solitude. My imagination of a reason that also had a scope of an universal emotion relating to all mankind, was his first love, and his daily letters for Oona O’neill, those letters were actually the spark that would have made him realize he had the ability to write beautifully….maybe………… so here is my humble attempt.



You all are free to let me know, if I have done anything wrong by putting such a version to a well known writer’s life, it’s just my thoughts and it can always be excused right?

Forlorn love

Voyage to death

Nearing my breath

Yet my love’s depth

For you sails all girth.

Past, disappearing phase

Not another face in race,

Glimpse of your face

Each second I face.

The face that whispers

My heart’s daily verses,

Oh! My queen of universe,

Why you shed those curses.

My heart’s birth to words

To see your smiling world,

Raising you to dream world,

Nesting us, the two birds.

Within the love woven nest,

Feeling your breath on my chest,

I see your smile at its best,

Dreaming, a life full of zest.

A dream that went falling,

Hearing your wings fluttering,

Away and far you were flying,

Leaving a lonely soul waiting.

Waiting Endless, drowning dreams,

Landing deep, to words that stream,

Streaming words, once your cream,

The cream you treasured, now my dream

The dream of words that fly,

Above them, standing high

I carve to prove, I’m no dry,

Thus – “The catcher in the rye”.

As people held me high,

I searched for your eye,

Never seeing your sigh,

I cuddled into my rye.

With the gift you discovered

Weaving a cocoon of words

Within them I stay buried

Words- my only love world.

Each & every comment I receive is a true inspiration and an award for someone like me who started writing just because I started a blog, here I thank rohini & jingle for their kind appreciation shown towards me as awards. When remembering people who inspired in a special way, I cannot forget my consistent inspiration Jyotsna P Kadayaprath, Mr. A from - Simply speaking by "A"simple blogger- who shares what he cherishes, Sandhya from purpleheart , and last but not the least the blogger of the blog mullapoov whose comment was the first I ever received. Thank you all….. all those who have spared time to read what I write…. I value you all a lot

Oh! Dear...Come Near........

As I see my sun setting,

Darkened soul of mine fretting,

Oh!My Mother dear, come as a moon,

Light my sky, with your glow, as my boon.

As I see the crowd disappear,

Lone I stand with deserted fear,

Oh!My Mother dear, come as a rain,

Flood my mind, with your love, drowning pain,

As I see my heart bleeding,

Breathless I stand all shivering,

Oh!My Mother dear, come as a breeze,

Wrap my heart, with care, letting my pain to freeze.

As I see my sigh unheard,

Lost I stand away from the herd,

Oh!My Mother dear, come as a song,

Tune my ears, to lullabies that I long.

As I see my tears rolling,

Blind I walk with fear of falling,

Oh!My Mother dear, come as a smile,

Wipe my tears, with warm kisses for a while.

As I see my dreams shatter,

Tired I lay with a mind so clutter,

Oh!My Mother dear, come as a shelter,

let me  nap,on your lap, feeling your soft stroking fingers

As I see my desert blooming,

Delighted I dance with a heart that’s booming,

Oh! My Mother dear, come as the rhythm,

Embraced... Lets sway, listening to our hearts rhythm.






As I see my life stream flowing,

Brave I swim, with a mind never failing,

For I know mother dear, that you are near,

So near..., everywhere….forever……..

EYES

In eyes I see….
Mystifying depths of sea,
Hiding minds pain that boil,
Like un treasured sea soil.

In eyes I see…
Shining stars of sky,
Sparkling love longing to fly,
Like night wait, to see them high.

In eyes I see…
Graceful buds that bow,
Blushing red that flow,
Like girl’s first kiss that glow.

In eyes I see…
Erupting lava that linger,
The spreading heat of anger,
Like a wild lions hunger.

In eyes I see…
Rising forest fires,
The lovely lust as flames,
Like embraced dance of snakes,

In eyes I see…
Darkened clouds floating,
The mourning moments waiting
Like a deserts dream on raining.

In eyes I see…
So silent & calm- a lake,
Taking pains, on others sake,
Like an ocean receiving brooks.

In eyes I see…
The world in you,
My world is you,
& You
Your EYES….

A Birthday Gift for Her

Yes! This would definitely be one of the best gifts she has received on her birthday, when someone far away, whom she never knew, whom she have never seen, from far across the seas, when she was appreciated, that too on her birthday. She would have felt proud, great, the greatness of mankind, where irrespective of region or religion they always had a good word for the good.

As a part of my job, here in the desert I do have to go for long drives, mostly driving alone, along the long roads with just music and me and my thoughts, taking me to different dream worlds, together with the songs, and I do enjoy them too...a lot.

But yesterday was a different day, totally messed up,... there I was in the middle of the road, my car battery all down, leaving me in utter chaos with only the bright hot sun and the speeding vehicles around me to help. At any cost I had to keep up my appointment which was not far away from my present position, so calling the emergency number and waiting was not a solution, somehow I had to push it to the side and keep going, either a cab or a lift was the only solution. Waiting there,i stood waving to all cars, trucks, trailers…hoping for a lift. When a blue car came to a halt beside me, I thanked all gods and definitely the Arab too for relieving me from the hot sun. I don’t speak much Arabic nor does he speak English, but the situation itself would have explained and so there I was in the next moment, wiping off the sweat from my forehead stepping into his cool cozy car. I felt instantly relaxed, and as the car moved along… the music which he was playing gave me a surprise….and he was enjoying…really enjoying....

'Hindi'…… he asked [ for Indians they say Hindi]
'Yes'… I said
'Kerala'….. his next question came
'Yes'…..i replied
'Miya…Miya'….[means perfect in Arabic ]
He replied and back he was with the song enjoying it wholeheartedly, smiling while driving.

Did he understand the lyrics, I wondered …anyway he was all immersed in the music and I was enjoying him enjoying the song. [Swargathekkal sundaramaani swapnam vidarum gramam….. {Which means..My land where dreams bloom is much more beautiful than heaven} that was the song he was enjoying and that brought our conversation to my little Kerala, and how he spoke about her,keralas beauty ,its culture, the music all that he enjoyed about kerala,but have never been to kerala but still liked the place and had lots to ask me and tell me about kerala.
After reaching my place, while thanking him for the lift and for his admiration for my land, I felt really nice…when someone who have never seen my land ,still loves that place, and that too on the day of her 53rd birthday,yes it was kerala piravi, what more can she expect other than this appreciation… admiration…Love and the good words from someone far across…whom she never knew but who admired her for her beauty…a perfect gift for her…....Miya......Miya...